My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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