I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
