Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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