the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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