u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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