I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
