I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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