If i come over, it means nothing
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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