Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hippo gnu deer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
