i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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