They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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