Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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