He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
