omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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