I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
