you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
