Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
