you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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