I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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