the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
