I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
