i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
