Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
