loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
