Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
