super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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