another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize