Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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