I bet he comes in French.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
