i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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