Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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