She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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