Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
