For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
