I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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