I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That's when you crack a 10am beer
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
