I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
