I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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