Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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