At least make sure they are 18
Why
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
