Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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