Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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