I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
