No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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