Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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