but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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