i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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