I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize