did you get engaged???
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
