hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
