He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
