three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize