i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a hot homeless man
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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