I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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