im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
