Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize