i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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