Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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