Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize