Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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