Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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