it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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