it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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