you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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