I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
