Someone shit on the floor
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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